The Three Degrees

ED SHEERAN — “Players” Collaborations Project

No.6 Collaborations Project is the fourth studio album by the love-him-or-hate-him English singer-songwriter ED SHEERAN.

We speculate that the album title is probably influenced by “Players” — if you didn’t know, Players No. 6 were the most popular brand of ciggie back in the mid 1970’s and justifiably famous for their “King Sized” taste.

No.6 Collaborations Project
Ed Sheeran – he should have collaborated with artists they actually remembered…

The new disc is filled with tons of collabs with all of Ed’s best-buddy millennial stars… For example, the album’s lead single: “I Don’t Care” was a successful collaboration with Justin Bieber, and “Antisocial” was with Travis Scott. Other collabs included duets and mixes with: D.J. Khalid, Stormzy and Skrillex.

But we think Suffolk’s favorite son missed a trick when he went into the studio to cut this disc. Why didn’t he collaborate with stars of the Seventies? Why didn’t he collaborate with people we’ve actually heard of? As a renowned and successful business-man, surely Ed must have known that this approach would have made more sense if he’d use proper musicians. People like Al Martino and David Cassidy? Surely he must have known that he’d have garnered better recognition and more appreciation from the baby-boomers and old skewl “Senior Service” moldies if he’d collaborated with artists that they actually remembered.

So, this got us thinking. What if ED was to re-make the No. 6 project, but this time with real record buyers in mind?

Here we present our alternative “Players” Collaborations Project for old fogies…

Track One: “Beautiful Sofa” with DJ Blackburn (Tony) “DJ Blackburn in da house…

Peggy Lipton
Track Two: “South Based Hoarder” vox by Celia Cruz and rap by “mod squad” actress Peggy Lipton

Track Two: “South Based Hoarder” vox by Celia Cruz and rap by “mod squad” actress Peggy Lipton

Track Three: “Cross Me Off: the Funeral Protection Plan” with Al Martino (aka Johnny Fontane) with rap by Peter Sellers (as Chance the Gardener.)

Track Four: “Take Me Back ‘Ome” with Noddy Holder and Ray Dorset

Track Five: “The Best Part Of Me is my Plastic Hips” with Judith Durham

Judith Durham
“The Best Part Is Me Plastic Hips” with Judith Durham

Track Six: “I Don’t Care About Anything But Myself” with David Cassidy

Track Seven: “Antisocial Septuagenarian” with Glen Campbell

Track Eight: “I Can’t Remember my own Name” with Bobby Smith and Tony Bennett

Track Nine: “It Feels (Cold Today) I’ll Put The Heating On” with Brenda Lee and rap by DeForest Kelley

Track Ten: “Put (all the Anusol) on Me Donut” by Lori Lieberman and with Don McLean

Track Eleven: “Nothing to do with You” by Chris de Burgh with rap by Dave (out of Chas ‘n’ Dave)

Track Twelve: “I Don’t Want Your Pension Money” by M.F.S.B. [main picture]

Dave Peacock
“Nothing to do with You” Chris de Burgh with rap by Dave (out of Chas ‘n’ Dave)…

Track Thirteen: “1000 Nights of Pension, If I’m Lucky” by Carl Douglas with Roger Whittaker on whistle

Track Fourteen: “The Cost of Living These Days Breaks My Flippin’ Heart” with Sonny Bono

Track Fifteen: “BLOW The Doors Off (You’re Only Supposed To)” with Johnny Maestro and rap by Benny Hill

Any thoughts: Tweet to @rawrampmag

 

 

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